How Do I Know It’s Dementia? Recognizing the Signs and Knowing When to Ask for Help
Have you noticed that your mom is asking the same question over and over?
Maybe your husband keeps forgetting appointments he used to remember. Maybe your dad seems to be having trouble paying bills, following a familiar recipe, or finding his way around places he's known for years.
Or maybe you're noticing changes in yourself.
At first, it's easy to brush these things off.
“They're just getting older.”
“Everyone forgets things sometimes.”
“They're stressed.”
And that's true, everyone forgets things. But there is a difference between normal age-related forgetfulness and changes that begin interfering with everyday life.
So how do you know when it's time to pay closer attention?
First: Dementia Is Not a Normal Part of Aging
Getting older can come with some changes in memory. You might occasionally forget where you put your keys, struggle to remember someone's name, or walk into a room and forget why you went there.
Those things can happen without dementia.
Normal age-related forgetfulness generally doesn't prevent someone from managing their everyday life. Dementia, on the other hand, involves changes in memory, thinking, reasoning, communication, or behavior that interfere with daily activities.
And dementia isn't one specific disease. It's a general term used to describe problems with cognitive abilities that become serious enough to affect everyday life. Alzheimer's disease is the most common cause of dementia, but there are other types as well.
What Are Some Early Signs of Dementia?
Memory loss is probably the symptom most people think of first, but dementia can show up in many different ways.
Here are some changes worth paying attention to:
1. Forgetting Recently Learned Information
Someone may repeatedly ask the same question, forget a conversation they just had, or repeatedly forget appointments or plans.
Occasionally forgetting something and remembering it later is different from consistently forgetting information and being unable to recall it.
2. Trouble With Familiar Tasks
Someone who has cooked for their family for 40 years may suddenly have trouble following a familiar recipe.
They may struggle to operate an appliance they've used for years, forget how to complete a familiar household task, or have difficulty managing things they previously handled independently.
3. Problems With Bills or Money
Paying bills can be an early area where changes become noticeable.
Someone might forget to pay bills, pay the same bill twice, have trouble balancing a checkbook, or become unusually confused when dealing with money.
4. Getting Confused About Time or Place
Everyone loses track of the day occasionally.
But repeatedly becoming confused about the date, season, where they are, or how they got somewhere can be more concerning.
Getting lost in a familiar neighborhood or having trouble finding a familiar location is another sign worth discussing with a doctor.
5. Trouble Finding Words or Following Conversations
You might notice that someone is suddenly struggling to find common words, calling familiar objects by unusual names, losing their train of thought, or having difficulty following a conversation.
Occasionally forgetting a word happens to everyone. The concern is when communication problems become frequent or begin interfering with everyday life.
6. Misplacing Things in Unusual Ways
We've all put our keys somewhere and then spent 20 minutes looking for them.
But dementia can involve putting things in unusual places and being unable to retrace one's steps.
For example, someone might put their keys in the refrigerator or their wallet in a kitchen cabinet and have no idea how it got there.
7. Changes in Judgment or Decision-Making
You may notice decisions that seem very unlike the person you've known.
This could include difficulty managing money, falling for scams they previously would have recognized, dressing inappropriately for the weather, or making other decisions that seem out of character.
8. Withdrawing From Activities
Someone who has always enjoyed church, visiting friends, gardening, playing cards, or going out to lunch may suddenly stop wanting to participate.
Sometimes this happens because activities that were once easy have become difficult or confusing.
9. Changes in Mood or Personality
Dementia can sometimes involve noticeable changes in personality, mood, or behavior.
A normally easygoing person may become unusually suspicious, anxious, fearful, irritable, or withdrawn.
That doesn't automatically mean dementia - there are many possible causes for changes in mood or behavior - but a significant change is worth paying attention to.
10. Difficulty With Everyday Independence
One of the biggest things to watch for is a change in what someone can safely and independently do.
Can they still prepare meals?
Take their medications correctly?
Use the phone?
Manage their finances?
Get dressed?
Drive safely?
Navigate the stairs?
Take care of basic household tasks?
A decline in everyday abilities can be an important reason to talk with a healthcare provider.
One Sign Doesn't Automatically Mean Dementia
This is really important.
Seeing one of these signs does not mean someone has dementia.
Memory and thinking problems can have many possible causes. Some can be related to medications, vitamin deficiencies, thyroid problems, depression, or other medical conditions, and some causes may be treatable.
That's why it's important not to diagnose a loved one yourself.
Instead, think of these changes as reasons to investigate further.
What Should You Do If You're Concerned?
If you've started noticing changes in someone you love, don't wait until there's a major crisis before bringing them up.
Start keeping track of what you're seeing.
Write down specific examples:
- What did they forget?
- How often is it happening?
- Has anything changed in their ability to manage everyday tasks?
- Are there changes in their mood or personality?
- Have they gotten lost or confused in familiar places?
- Are they having trouble with medications, meals, money, or appointments?
Specific examples can be much more helpful than simply telling a doctor, “I think Mom is losing her memory.”
And if you're the person noticing changes in yourself, don't be embarrassed to bring them up with your healthcare provider. You don't have to figure out the answer on your own.
A healthcare provider can evaluate memory and thinking changes and look for possible causes.
What If They Don't Think Anything Is Wrong?
This can be one of the hardest parts for families.
A person experiencing memory problems may genuinely not realize how much things have changed. Or they may feel embarrassed, frightened, angry, or defensive when someone brings it up.
Try to approach the conversation with concern rather than accusation.
Instead of:
“You're forgetting everything. I think you have dementia.”
Try:
“I've noticed you've been having a harder time remembering some things lately, and I'm worried about you. Would you be willing to talk to your doctor about it with me?”
The goal isn't to win an argument or convince someone that they have dementia.
The goal is to make sure they get the support and medical evaluation they need.
Don't Wait for Everything to Fall Apart
One of the biggest reasons to pay attention to early changes is that knowing what is happening gives families more time to prepare.
An early evaluation can help identify what's causing the symptoms and, if dementia is involved, give the person and their family an opportunity to plan for future care, safety, finances, medical decisions, and changes at home.
And planning doesn't mean giving up independence.
In fact, planning early can help someone remain independent for longer.
That might mean establishing routines, making the home safer, finding ways to make everyday tasks easier, or adapting the house as needs change.
And Remember: The Person Is Still the Person
Perhaps the most important thing to remember when you start noticing changes is this:
A diagnosis doesn't erase who someone is.
Your mom is still your mom.
Your husband is still your husband.
Your dad is still your dad.
Dementia may change what someone can remember or how they communicate, but it doesn't mean there aren't still good days, meaningful conversations, laughter, favorite foods, music, familiar places, hobbies, and moments of connection.
The goal of dementia care isn't simply to manage symptoms.
It's to help the person feel safe, respected, comfortable, and as independent as possible for as long as possible.
And that's what we'll be talking about throughout the Caring for Dementia series.
Coming Next: Establishing a Routine
Once you begin noticing cognitive changes, one of the most helpful things you can do is create a predictable, comfortable daily routine.
In the next Caring for Dementia article, we'll talk about how routines can make everyday life easier for someone with dementia - and for the person caring for them.
A note from Central Illinois Stairlift: This article is for general educational purposes and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you or someone you love is experiencing concerning changes in memory, thinking, behavior, or daily functioning, talk with a healthcare professional.
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Central Illinois Stairlift
Central Illinois Stairlift provides expert stairlift installation across Central Illinois, offering the trusted Ameriglide Rave 2 straight stairlift for homes throughout the area. Whether you’re in Peoria, Bloomington, Normal, Springfield, Champaign, Pekin, LaSalle, Pontiac, Decatur, Rockford, Chicago, Quad Cities or any surrounding Illinois communities, we can help you age in place safely with professional stairlift services. To learn more about installing a stairlift in your Illinois home, call or text 309-301-1000 for an instant quote over the phone.
